Thursday, November 5, 2009


As, I was going in to pick Cooper up from school today, I found I was holding my breath. Literally not breathing and also putting myself into a full blown panic attack, because I was so worried they were going to tell me he misbehaved again today. I paused outside the door, I sent up a little prayer to a gracious and merciful God to please take pity on me! His teacher met me at the door, UGH oh, no, not again, my fragile heart can't take it God! She says"Just wanted to let you know Cooper had a really good day today!" Praise God!! I snatched him out of there as quickly as I could to ensure we still had a good day! WHEW!

It is so funny when I think about it, a little sad really, how much I base my worth on my children. I wonder if it would be the same if I had a job outside of the home? But, since my job right now is raising my children, I feel like I have failed at my job when they misbehave or don't do well at things. I really need to get over that, they are human just like I am and just like I do they make mistakes. Thank goodness I am not getting graded.

We have been doing this study at church called the Parent Adventure. It has been a really good study, I have learned a lot from it. I picked out the study because it was my turn to teach and while it was not exactly what I was looking for in a parenting based study, I have really enjoyed it. One of the first things it teaches you is your kids, they aren't your own, from the very beginning they are God's and it is my job as a parent to help them learn to live a life with Him. While I may have all these goals and plans for them, they don't really matter because in His infinite wisdom God has a plan for them all His own, and it is my job to help them figure out that plan, whatever it may be. I have also learned that my life is blessed by God, and not just during the good times, even when I have a biting 4 year old, or two sisters who can't seem to get along, in the midst of homework, housecleaning, gymnastics, choir, and basketball, right in the middle of all these good and bad my life is so blessed and it is blessed so much more than I deserve!


Beth Dunn said...

Its normal to feel that way they are a reflection of us no matter how much they are also their own person. xoxo